Reconciliation

Although the prevailing reality - which is that each of the countries of the SEE is a too small market for its own needs and they are not prepared for serious competition with the West � again connected and 'forced' those countries to primarily economic and then cultural, non-cultural (pop and mass culture) and social exchange, a better look at the countries that just went through a war, or managed to escape from it, will show that each of these countries is, to a lesser or greater extent, society of isolation, disinformation, lack of communication and fear.

Although the return or refugees and IDPs started, and the transit and exchange of people and goods is not disputed or problematic (in majority of cases), there is the prevailing feeling that the full normalization of life is still unreachable, and that the process itself lacks the true will and preparedness to act. The climate of mistrust is present in all social layers and activities, the mutual accusations (although whispered rather than said loudly) are a part of the everyday life in the villages and in the cities, in each of the states and in the region in general.

What does reconciliation means for such a society?

Reconciliation means different things to different people. It may relate to the notion of living together, truth, compensation, crime and punishment, forgiveness for the suffered fear and insecurity, humiliation and violence.

To believe that the vicious circle will cease to exist with the last fired shot is equal to the belief that everything could be simply forgotten and that the reconciliation is a matter of months, not years, decades, maybe even generations. The wartime violence is continued, in a way, in the post-war period. It is seen in the continued exile and refugee status, in the loss of roots and identity and the inability to return home. Even if there is return, it brings with itself alienation from the environment and the community, violence in the schools, inability to find employment, poverty, creation of 'forbidden' parts of a city, or even whole cities and villages.

Post-war violence also includes violence of the system and the society against the individual. The world won't stop to wait for individual renewal: the individual has to work, earn a living, produce and manufacture and be a usuful unit of the society. The family has to be fed, the budgets have to be filled, just as nothing happened before it. A man or woman, forced to the reality of the everyday life, has no time to confront his/her own truth or him/her, has no time for intimate feelings and the feelings of others. Too much is repressed and left unsolved.

Reconciliation begins with the truth. The objective truth about ourselves, the others, about what did and what didn't happen. The reconciliation takes time, has its rises and falls, and demands a will for it on the behalf of the individuals and the society. The reconciliation also demands a belief that it is possible and it will be usefull to everybody. It also needs it metaphisical, immaterial starting point that will include everybody involved in the process.

Reconciliation in the SEE after the decade of war, nationalism and stupidity has got its chance: the time, the economic movements, languages, society and similarities direct us at one another. After a longer time, the citizens of all countries that came to exist out of the conflict must look inside and admit their share of responsibility for chaos and hatred. The new film by Pjer Zalica, 'Gori Vatra' brings to the surface, once again, the old theory about the small man who could do nothing against the system and the politicians, politics and the army. However, the truth that we all have to face is that somebody had to give the power to the politicians, somebody did vote, somebody fired the gun. Somebody had to do all of that. The truth is that there is responsibility on all sides, in different levels, but at all layers: command, social, national, individual... it exists.

The issue of forgiveness as the central point of reconciliation always creates unease. That unease is justified. It points out at a whole series of opportunities for abuse of the forgiveness: the victim faces numerous social, psychological and physical consequences of the evil that was done, but also the possibility that those responsible won't be found and punished.

It all makes the role of the Hague Tribunal in the determination of responsibility and punishment of the war crimes, genocide, crimes against humanity indispensable. In addition, all entities of the civil society should get involved in the process of reconciliation, together with the religious communities, political parties, education institutions. Reconciliation has to be a two-way process, a proces from the top down which would provide the framework, the structure and facilitation, and from the bottom up, with therapy, rehabilitation, joint activities etc, providing the frame with the contents.

Reconciliation sometimes move in mysterious ways. Sometimes the existence of a silly reality show can bring the two sides together, can dismiss the national differences, can restart the friendships of the older generations, and can help the new generations to get to know each other.

So, next time you hear that co-existence is IMPOSSIBLE and that it would require a mirracle... remember this... they may not always come with fanfare and over night, but mirracles do happen...